human. race.

Happy Human Race Day!

Ran a 10K this morning with my Nike+ Sportband (unfortch not in NYC to run the official one). Perfect weather in the Bean today.

Now, off to the bike shop and will hopefully be returning with this:

Ridley Damocles
Frame Weight: 7.72
Brake/shift lever: Shimano Ultegra SL
Fr derailleur: Shimano Ultegra SL
Rear derailleur: Shimano Ultegra SL
Cassette: Shimano Ultegra SL
Crankset/BB: Shimano Ultegra SL
Brakes Shimano Ultegra SL
Chain: Shimano
Wheelset: Fulcrum Racing 5
Tires: Vredestein Fortezza
Saddle: 4ZA Stratos
Stem: 4ZA C-stem
Handlebar: 4ZA Classic
Seatpost: 4ZA C-Post
Fork: Damocles full carbon monocoque

Oh, and I think I just signed on to the ‘Reach the Beach‘ relay — 200 miles in 24 hours, the longest running relay race in the country, Sept 12-13. Damn law school kids — my future in-house council may not have my best interests in mind.

Update: meet Ridley, the new love of my life.

QOTD:
rebel2524: i was just checking out dpnation
rebel2524: internet stalking is the way of the future

On notice!
rebel2524: for your “on notice” section…i would recommend “fat people in bikinis”.  Seriously.  There isn’t a woman in the world who doesn’t look at herself in the mirror before leaving.  So when you looked, what made you think that 7 extra rolls looked good?

yes, the song is about you

Rebel2524: i love seeing myself on your away message

Auto response from SPOON10: SPOON10: this could be one of our most brilliant ideas to date
Rebel2524: i know, and we are well known for brilliance

Rebel2524: how self-centered is that?!

an army of whore

Back to school, back to school..
Rebel2524: i’m going to [edit] school
SPOON10: not to get myself in trouble with people who have guns, but isn’t that an oxymoron?
Rebel2524: the best of all of ‘em

On rewarding oneself:
Rebel2524: i bought new shoes though
Rebel2524: so i’m excited for that
SPOON10: always a good excuse
Rebel2524: but alas, i still hate running
SPOON10: you must’ve gotten the non-brainwashing model
Rebel2524: what IS the brainwashing model
Rebel2524: i’ll buy those too

Admissions standards aren’t just for college:
Rebel2524: on average i think i’m a good person, so that should weigh in the balance
SPOON10: that’s exactly my position when it comes to my admission request to heaven

On religion:
Rebel2524: deathbed absolution is one of the best parts of the catholic church

On moderation:
Rebel2524: by the way i’m drinking jack and coke, so factor that into your interpretation of my responses
SPOON10: you are only more enlightened with every sip
Rebel2524: also we’re into gulping now as opposed to sipping

best. seller.

kk: I’m going to write a book called “Argumentative Webmastering”
kk: The first chapter: Everyone else is an idiot
kk: Chapter 2: JSON is not a person.
kk: Chapter 3: Tables are evil. Period.
DP: chapter 4: stop asking me for javascript
DP: chapter 5: label your goddamn tickets with something useful

Life Lesson #9034785: cause Cybil to get in trouble, get free Starbucks and cupcake. Life is totally fair.

Rebel2524: oh man you are so lucky
Auto response from SPOON10: cleaning tangent, jenn is rewarding me by baking cookies
Rebel2524: i wish i had a roommate that would make me cookies
Rebel2524: mostly cause right now i have a craving for cookies
Rebel2524: more evidence that only people who run as much as you do can eat cookies
Rebel2524: sigh.

Speaking of the roommate, it’s our one year anniversary of moving to Pleasantville. Make sure to buy me something nice.

world. diplomacy.

Rebel2524: if we are going to take over the world
Rebel2524: we need some “undisclosed locations” to go to and discuss
SPOON10: camp david is for suckas
Rebel2524: camp miller time sounds better

morale. builder.

Rebel2524: so happy i made the daily blog in dpnation
Rebel2524: seriously, what a morale boost

Rebel2524: yeah you are pretty much insane

Auto response from SPOON10: getting up at 6am for the ING marathon.. why, why why??

Rebel2524: just as an FYI
Rebel2524: good luck though
Rebel2524: if it helps, i just finished my 11th beer

u + me = us

Rebel2524: your away message is hilarious

Auto response from SPOON10: I was in Barnes and Noble and I saw ‘Calculus for Dummies’… that makes no sense. Dummies don’t need to know calculus. When you open it up, it should say, ‘You’re going to have to cheat’… or maybe ‘Go find an Asian kid’.

Rebel2524: and yet so wrong
Rebel2524: where were all the asian kids when i was failing calculus freshman year? or, i guess, the book for dummies. or the advice about cheating
Rebel2524: really, i would have taken anything

couch. potato.

Rebel2524: i felt all good about myself for working out this morning until i read your away message

Auto response from SPOON10: i’m not really sure why i thought it’d be a good idea to go on a 30 mile bike ride immediately after running a 10K race this morning, but if you need me, i’ll be on the couch for the rest of the day

Rebel2524: damn you!
Rebel2524: but i hope you won the race

culinary. expert.

Rebel2524: i am not entirely sure if making jello shots counts as “slaving away in the kitchen”…then again, who am I to judge?

Auto response from SPOON10: tomorrow i slave away in the kitchen preparing for the party.. more specifically, making jello shots

safe. travels.

The Army Whore returns to the sandbox.. one of these days we’ll get together and take over the world.

Rebel2524: dp, i am going back to afghanistan tomorrow…blah…enjoy ATL, keep running/cycling, and most importantly, keep the nation going…i’ll try to send good quotes every so often

Related:
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/11/war-zone.html

cold. front.

Rebel2524: you are such a southerner
Auto response from SPOON10: high of 80 today.. it’s freeeeezing
Rebel2524: in iraq and/or afghanistan, we cheer when it’s only 80 degrees

tread. this.

Yesterday at the gym I played my favorite game. The one where someone gets on the treadmill next to you and you can just tell that they’re looking at how fast/how far you’re going. Well, my game is you crank it up to a 7.8 or so and run 7 miles like a nice little spring jog.

Referring to a previous email that said something along the lines of “Whore, send me your address!” (okay so that is verbatium of the email)

Also, despite my best efforts, people were near my desk when your last email came in and higher ranking peeps saw the salutation “whore”!!!!
I don’t know how you managed to pull that off from approximately 7420 miles away, but I salute your abilities.

Related:
The legend of the Army Whore, straight from the whore’s mouth (might be useful to find the amusement in above posting)
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2006/02/afghaniwhore.html

afghaniwhore.

DP,

I realize it has been a while since I wrote to you. I was rereading the best of the Whoreversations and realized that nothing that is too substantive has come from Afghanistan in a while (or, at all).

Anyway, I have several very funny pictures that I can’t send to you because it might inflame the Muslim world and we just got finished with some riots here. So instead, I send to you the picture of me working at my desk in full battle rattle, because of said demonstrations and protests.

Although in the past I realize I have taken a more active role in combat, I like to think of my time on a 3-star general’s staff as “Defending Freedom: One PowerPoint slide at a Time”

Also, please note the pirate flag hanging up in the background. My section of the office is, of course, the rebellious, lawless section. I work with a naval aviator…this is like Top Gun J Only he’s not short and having babies with someone half his age, like Tom Cruise.

I have introduced my comrades-in-arms to your website. So now you have a Navy and Air Force following too. Thought you would like to know. Hope all is well in Hotlanta.

Regards,
Army Whore.

P.S. Also note how the pile has shit has magically migrated to Afghanistan, from St. Monica’s…travel is amazing these days.

Related:
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/11/war-zone.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/08/whore-versations.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/07/raging-grannies.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/06/iraq-brat.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/06/under-cover.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/05/american-dairyland.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/05/living-legend.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/04/signing-on.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/03/legal-advice.html

dp. space.

Birfday ups.. to The Nation.

Well. With the birthday of DPNation coming up, I had to send a shoutout from Afghanistan.

I am pleased that your multimedia method for total world domination has been so successful thus far. Keep it up! I only have a year and a half left in the regular Army before I can go rogue. You and Evil Molly had better be ready.

Oh yeah, and I’m still looking for Osama. I’ll send periodic updates, and of course when I find him, I’ll bring you the head as per your request via IM.

love, Army Whore

dwells on dreams: hey are you on myspace?
SPOON10: yes’m
dwells on dreams: sweet i just joined
dwells on dreams: bc i need another distraction besides facebook, LJ, AIM, and dpnation

mad. times.

Mouss is ho-ficially coming to the ATL in Feb. Holla.

Rebel2524: your benevolent generosity really flows like wine
SPOON10: i’m so glad that you use alcohol related analogies though
SPOON10: it makes it easier for me to understand
Rebel2524: i think about it a lot

Another hint from a fellow co-worker (what’s up with these interventions?)
[anonymous editor] (3:37:35 PM): WASHINGTON (AP) — A federal advisory panel determined Friday that the first skin patch to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children is both effective and safe, bringing the patch a step closer to regulatory approval.

Sometimes you just gotta ask yourself: How stupid are you?
Space cadets taken in by TV hoax

Craigslist:
Free Microwave of Mysteries!

“Money can’t buy happiness.”
“Sure it can. That’s just what we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.”

world. domination.

Dqsal1: HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Dqsal1: p.s.
Dqsal1: now that we are both 25 and can rent cars in ANY state, we can implement our plan to take over the world. although we do ahve to wait for the army whore to catch up… but she can just ride shotgun a while.
Dqsal1: and yes, you have to rent cars to take over the world. its in the rules.

taking. over.

Evil doers, unite!
Rebel2524: dp
Rebel2524: molly and i just talked
Rebel2524: the forces of evil are aligning

The ball starts rolling:
EV1LMOLLY: its all part of the master plan
EV1LMOLLY: I have you with access to weapons
EV1LMOLLY: DP with access to the media
EV1LMOLLY: and me with access to judges
Rebel2524: oooh i never thought of it that succinctly
EV1LMOLLY: now all we need is someone high up in the lotto commission
Rebel2524: oooooh!
EV1LMOLLY: so we can hit powerball to fund our project

Good thing they’ve decided to keep me in the loop:
Rebel2524: we should fill DP in i guess
EV1LMOLLY: eh
EV1LMOLLY: she’ll figure it out
EV1LMOLLY: after we put her in a sack and she wakes up in an office, dressed for work
Rebel2524: hahahahahaha
Rebel2524: the work sack
EV1LMOLLY: isnt that how people get jobs?
Rebel2524: they stick the resume in the sack, like santa’s list

Dictators are always prepared:
SPOON10: all i ask is that when i wake up ready for work, that i have an appropriately cute outfit on
SPOON10: that enables me to be fashionable yet take over the world in relative comfort
Rebel2524: we thought seersucker
SPOON10: you’ve done your homework
SPOON10: which is a lot more than i can say, when we were at vanillanova
Rebel2524: yeah me either

ducka ducka ducka..
Rebel2524: so seersucker works for you
Rebel2524: molly says she wears the daddy pants

marketing ploy:
Rebel2524: i need to start ordering t shirts from you
Rebel2524: so “69LT” is in
SPOON10: i’ll whip up a sharpie prototype until we go into mass production

reaching out:
Rebel2524: also, many of my friends have read your website and applaud it
SPOON10: i’m telling you, texas is like my number one state
SPOON10: i have a fan club in dallas
Rebel2524: and in fort hood too

We’re modest, too:
SPOON10: this could be one of our most brilliant ideas to date
Rebel2524: i know, and we are well known for brilliance

People might wonder.. who is this army whore anyway?
Rebel2524: the woman, the myth, the legend
SPOON10: you really need some business cards
Rebel2524: i think some people would get the wrong idea

war. zone.

The Army Whore tries to shift the blame:
Rebel2524: dp, i’m supposed to be packing up all my stuff to move, and instead i got mesemerized by your website, and now it’s almost dinner time and my apartment looks like a war zone! i don’t even think i can leave my apartment without severely injuring myself. so thanks, thanks a lot.
Rebel2524: i totally lost track of time
Rebel2524: like the bermuda triangle or something

(Don’t worry, I’m used to most things being my fault, for some reason I tend to be the scapegoat. I’m good like that.)

on a new army unit:
Rebel2524: yeah, i was gonna say… i am by far the lowest ranking person in my new unit…. and the next thought i had was, “well thank goodness DP won’t be there to call me a hooker in front of my boss”
SPOON10: deep down i know you’re disappointed
Rebel2524: right, right
Rebel2524: that’s what i’m thinking on the inside

So here I would list the related links to whatever subject matter this post is about. However, after doing a search for all the brilliant things that the army whore has written, I found 24 posts. Which I don’t really want to link. But here are the bestest of the whore..

Truncated related:
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/08/whore-versations.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/07/raging-grannies.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/06/iraq-brat.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/06/under-cover.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/05/american-dairyland.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/05/living-legend.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/04/signing-on.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/03/legal-advice.html

nike. wonder.

Clearly, I am a Nike wonderchild. This weekend I busted my THIRD air pocket.

Good thing NikeTown gave me a new pair on the spot so that I won’t have to run the Atlanta Half Marathon barefoot in two weeks. I even offered to be their lab monkey to figure out why I have such air busting abilities.

Had the white ones, now am going with the silver of the Nike Air Zoom Vitesse. (Next shoe purchase I’m seriously considering the Nike Shox 2:40.. no pockets to bust!)

Speaking of the race, I just realized my half marathon entry is LATE and an extra 30 bucks. Boo.
Rebel2524: look at it this way… that’s only an extra $2.30 per mile

And so much for sibling support:
wafers14: you’re obviously insane.
Auto response from SPOON10: 12 mile run on 4 hours of sleep.. sweet
wafers14: you should probably be committed

And another verbal beating:
wafers14: you’re insane by the way
wafers14: you run too much
SPOON10: you’re related to me by the way
wafers14: putting the rest of the family to shame
wafers14: freak

Related:
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/09/shoe-alert.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/08/new-kicks.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2005/03/new-kicks.html
http://dpnation.blogspot.com/2004/11/god-i-have-shoe-problem.html

favorite. subjects.

Rebel2524: remember college, where nobody went to bed before 2am?
SPOON10: (except me who had 5am practice)
Rebel2524: right well i stayed up even when i had PT
Rebel2524: which i now realize was a terrible course of action
SPOON10: well it took me until mid way through jr year to realize that i needed to go to bed at 830 to get 8 hours sleep
SPOON10: i’m surprised they gave me a diploma
Rebel2524: math was never my strong suit either