bacon. bonanza.

Marathon Monday = Christmas in April

How to make this week any better? Two words. Bacon. Beer.

Yes, it’s true..

It’s as if this was my own birthday party so thoughtfully planned out by complete strangers. Not on my birthday.

Questions that linger:
- will this hold up to the original baconfest, the one Skybil and I discovered before it was even cool to like bacon?
- how much bacon is too much bacon? Unlike beer, which gives you a pretty good indication on when you should be put in timeout.
- why am I racing at Dartmouth the next day? Not even sure why I’m going at all. If you recall, this was the scene of my most horrific crash to date. (And shockingly, that was NOT the elbow fracture).
- how do I top my outfit from Halloween?

practical. presents.

Happy birthday, Skybil!

What do you get somebody who can already run for office?

Remember that one conversation where we talked about acceptable presents from people? Happy bday, from all your favorite acceptable presents!

The Nation

The Preteen

The Brit

The master

The tree

nation. nemesis.

From: Skybil
Subject: nationalism. this is war
Message: I have started a challenge blog to dpnation. You’re welcome.

colbert. conversations.

Auto Response from SPOON10 (4:04:37 PM): I liked that policy the first time I heard it.. from the Kool-Aid man.
-Stephen Colbert

skybil: we were just talking about you!!!
dp: OH NO
dp: ABOUT WHAT

m++: i wonder what my gf is donig
skybil: Prolly blogging about Colbert
m++: baffling
skybil: Indeed

——–

dp: omg i think i’m in love with stephen
skybil: MT is concerned that you love another
skybil: I told him to send you a bacon basket to win you back
skybil: He asked: Would that work? I mean, DUH!!!
dp: it might have to be the twice a month bacon club
dp: it was a holy experience
dp: it was like ghetto burgers for the soul
skybil: WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
skybil: I think that’s the title of your first business how-to guide

u-fries. u-phoria.

Back to the dirty dirty to make good on my bet (oh, and go a wedding).

Warning: videos are basically only funny to those who were actually feasting at U-Joint. It was probably the beer.

Important lessons learnt from the wedding weekend:

1. Don’t wait til the last minute to realize that you still need to buy a wedding present.

2. But neverfear, as long as said couple is not on Twitter, you can still receive sound advice:
- @jaredlombard @dpnation See if they registered on theknot.com?
- @Cybil @dpnation Forget finding out where they are registered, bacon always makes a lovely gift.
[for the record, they were indeed found on theknot.com. And they will be receiving a deep fryer shortly]

3. If you are male, deny deny deny:
- @jaredlombard @dpnation I plead the 5th about knowing about theknot.com.

4. Don’t call it a comeback!
- @uvatexn Excited about the ‘triumphant return’ to #ATL of @dpnation
- @Cybil Mentally preparing for Dana’s atl invasion

5. Make sure you check your receipt prior to driving off in the economy lot.

6. Invite friends to brunch, realize they are all on Twitter! (Except for Mrs. @uvatexn)

7. Attempt to combat friend theft.
- @Namski09 @dpnation You ran away from me, now what am I suppose to do. @Cybil is a last resort! haha! I can’t wait to hang out @Cybil!!!

8. Escape in the nick of time.

caption. this.

A gift from an anonymous source..

(insert caption here)

Leave your caption in the comment section below.

photographic. proof.

For all those doubters out there (ahem, Skybil), here is some photographic proof of my master-dom.

Also, for my Dean’s award (see next post).. I hope this is like the Heisman, where people have to introduce me as ‘Dean Commended D ana P rey’ in all social situations.

What’s next on the path to world domination?

instant. gratification.

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

This seems like something right up @Cybil‘s alley..

Also might be particularly useful when I don’t have Hillside’s plethora of lunchtime desserts at my fingertips.

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (Microwave Safe)

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.

Pour in the milk and oil and mix well..

Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.

The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don’t be alarmed!

Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT ! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous — yeah right).

And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?
Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

Near. Miss.

New season, new bike, new karma. Or so I thought.

Had a very near miss on the circuit race on Sunday at Rutgers — some MIT girl went down, taking a handful of people with her. I was about two back from that chick, and screeched my way to a halt, barely missing the carnage (front wheel stopped touching the downed bikes). Dropped my chain, and got some lovely grease tattoos on my right calf, but everything else seems to be in order. Was able to finish the race, but lost too much time with the pileup to be competitive.

For the record, that is now FOUR crashes that I’ve been involved in (none where I’m at fault). At least with this one, nothing on my bike or body were broken.

Why am I such a crash magnet? Which cycling god did I piss off?

Theory #1: it wasn’t the Trek bike that was cursed (sold off last Sept), but me.
Theory #2: My race number last year was #130. My race number this year is #103. Unlucky #13?
Theory #3: Clearly, everyone in Women’s B are out to get me. I should upgrade to A’s immediately.

Friends can be supportive (excluding Skybil):
“See, this is why I prefer couch surfing…. Maybe they should invest in some training wheels or something…” -MC

“The main question is…is the bike OK?!” -Kimberdoodle

“Were they updating their twitter accounts from the peloton? Don’t those stupid girls know that only LA and DP can tweet from the peloton without crashing? Amateurs.” -Queen B

“Who let these people have bikes anyways??” -SCR, my life coach and future wedding planner

“that should be easy for you, quadzilla.” -MC’s suggestion that I just lead the front of the pack (and not draft) to avoid crashes

Pics from the weekend can be found here.

cyberterrorizing. cybil.

Ah, cyber-terrorism via remote location. It’s almost too easy..

skybil: EVIL!
skybil: I think I jumped when I logged in today

(who doesn’t love danaheads as their desktop wallpaper?)

And who says you have to be famous in order to have your Twitter hacked?

Skybil should at least be happy that there are no signs of Clippy.. yet.

Update: She’s now throwing around false accusations!

Skybil (12:24:23 PM): YOU!
Skybil (12:24:27 PM): I thought it was Sean
The Brit (12:24:30 PM): me
Skybil (12:24:31 PM): BUT IT WAS YOU
The Brit (12:24:35 PM): wot?
Skybil (12:24:35 PM): I trusted you!
Skybil (12:24:48 PM): I jumped when I saw the Danaheads!
Skybil (12:24:51 PM): Hee hee!

tasty. turkey.

Happy ThanksDanagiving!

Italian Thanksgiving on Thursday, traditional Thanksgiving on Friday, and soup-er Thanksgiving party on Saturday.. YUM.

It would appear that it isn’t a coincidence that this was sent to me multiple times:
Turbaconducken (Turducken Wrapped in Bacon)|Bacon Today

I would imagine that if Skybil and I were to host a Thanksgiving dinner, this is totally what we would be serving. With a side of bacon.

cybil. terrorism.

The inevitable has happened..

Who knew Skybil was skilled enough at Facebook to even create a group? Cyber Cybil Terrorism!

And for the record, my mom was in fact invited the the group. And she actually joined. Where are her allegencies?!

commonwealth. clash.

As usual, it started as an innocent g-chat conversation.
[on registering to vote, the election in general, etc.]
Skybil: HUMPH!
DP: although voting in virginia is almost just as futile [as Georgia]
DP: and completely useless in mass
Skybil: Virginia is supposedly close
DP: HA
DP: they said that last election
DP: and it so wasn’t!
DP: i don’t think it’s ever been blue in the history of its existence
Skybil: You never know
DP: if VA goes blue, i am coming down and buying you u-fries

Later..
Skybil: Obama has a lead in Virginia
Skybil: I will be enjoying those U Fries!
DP: HA
Skybil: 51 to 39 percent
DP: holy crap. that’s a lot
Skybil: Uh huh
DP: i wonder if my absentee ballot counts for more
Skybil: They throw those out

Also, I live with a nark. You’re not supposed to defend Skybil.. not unless you want the cyber terrorism directed towards you instead..

kim. cave.

Basking in the glory of my grass-roots accomplishment:

Hell HAS frozen over! How quickly the Kimberdoodle caved. Now what do we do with all those inappropriate pictures we posted on her ‘get kim on facebook’ group?

QOTD: “See, I forgot about all these people who hate me.” – Kim, on joining Facebook

Also, a little disturbed that Skybil friended Kim before Kim friended me..

cyber. terror.

Recently yours truly has been dubbed a ‘Cyber Terrorist’ by roommate Kim, Skybil should be happy to know she’s not the only one who has to deal with my antics (re: Clippy). Kim is the victim in my latest stunt.

To give some background, Kim is the LAST PERSON ON EARTH to yet to join facebook. Concerned classmates rally together in a moment of solidarity and procrastination.

Rather than reading any cases prior to class, we started a grassroots/viral campaign.

As future managers and CEOs, the officer section of the group is critical (as you can tell).

We even have infiltration at Dartmouth and the city of Atlanta. You would think Skybil would be more appreciative that it wasn’t her as the target terror-ee:

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Skybil
Date: Wed, Sep 24, 2008 at 7:45 PM
Subject: Please join Facebook (a request from a stranger and future Facebook friend!)
To: kim
Cc: Dana

Dear Kim L ish, I don’t know you, but please join facebook. In this way we can join forces against the evil Dana P rey! I also left this email on your facebook group page, but figured you’d prolly miss that.

Your ally against Dana,
Skybil

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Dana
Date: Wed, Sep 24, 2008 at 8:37 PM
Subject: Re: Please join Facebook (a request from a stranger and future Facebook friend!)
To: Skybil
Cc: kim

dearest skybil,
kim wanted to know ‘is cybil the one that you clippy’d?’

why, YES. yes indeed.

love,
deeps (& clippy)

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Skybil
Date: Wed, Sep 24, 2008 at 10:23 PM
Subject: Re: Please join Facebook (a request from a stranger and future Facebook friend!)
To: Dana
Cc: kim

HUMPH! Why yes I am. Hey Dana, look over there … BACON!!!

(OK KIM, NOW THAT SHE’S LOOKING FOR BACON, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE NEED TO JOIN FORCES!!!!)

——————–

Join the movement here!

body. building.

Don’t call me chicken legs anymore! After demonstrating Hulk-like strengths doing squats at the gym, I’m now referred to as ‘Quadzilla’.

Lance Armstrong’s comeback.. possibly dumber than Favre’s.

Email of the day:
From: Skybil
Subject: OK, it’s about time I start abusing your MBA
To: “Dana”

We need to start churning out the iphone applications. I have ideas, I’m just an idiot. This is where you come in. You on board??

—–

QOTD: “If you ever want to make a training trip out to CO, you’ve got a place to crash anytime (crash as in sleep, not crash as in crash your bike).”

QOTD2: “‘My booty is stale.’ If I had Facebook, that would be my status.” -Kimlicious, in reference to her subpar tasting Pirate Booty snack

Also, I totally want a WALL-E. The twin was right: So happy, yet so heartwrenching.

dp. departure.

Last day in the city!

Today’s agenda includes: run along the Hudson (in perfect weather), grand opening of the Nike Sportswear Flagship store in SoHo, NikeTown (need to exchange something, what a great excuse), the happiest of hours, and possibly Wall-E cause I still haven’t seen it. Almost all packed up.. hopefully the GPS won’t forsake me this time.

Back to $10 lunches, the BC shuttle bus and homework (and class in the evenings, no less). On the bright side.. my own bed, in unit laundry, Beacon Hill Athletic Club, and most importantly, being reunited with TiVo.

sensitive. skybil.

Another day, another G-chat war.

And of course, Greg’s interest was piqued.. [from Skybil's Facebook wall]

Via email:
—–
From: Greg
To: Skybil
Subject: Howdy

PS, Clippy?

—–
From: Skybil
To: Greg
Subject: Re: Howdy

D ana is tormenting me about her “best office prank ever.” She installed a fake Microsoft ‘clippy’ character on my computer and it would pop up every five seconds to say things like: I see that you have internet explorer on your computer. You can use that to search for things on the Internet.

After about 10 minutes of this, I completely lost my mind!

—–
From: Greg
To: Skybil
Subject: Re: Howdy

That made me laugh so hard I think I’m going to explode.

—–

Yeah, Skybil’s still a little sensitive about the whole Clippy incident. Which has enjoyed a new resurgence of life in the newsroom, as it has been requested out of popular demand today. You can download your own copy here. And btw, it’s much more effective when stealth-installed on some unassuming technology illiterate challenged journalist type’s computer. Like, Skybil.

A sampling of Clippy quotes:
- It appears you are connected to the Internet.
- I see that you have been using your mouse.
- Your computer seems to be turned on.
- Your productivity has been decreasing lately. I hope everything is ok.
- Your posture seems to be degrading, please reposition yourself now.
- Background processing has rated your typing speed to be below normal.
- Would you like me to go away?
- I noticed you have Internet Explorer installed on your system. You can use that to find things on the Internet.

And look, Skybil already has her next Halloween costume in the works:

Long live Clippy!

eight. eight. eight.

Happy Olympics! Who doesn’t LOVE the fact that Ralph Lauren outfitted the athletes for the opening ceremony? (Okay, so that might be just me). HOT.

Prey Family Vacation, a brief history

Wed: delayed two hours getting out of NYC (so what else is new?) Fortunally, not seated next to the WORLDS FATTEST MAN ALIVE this time around. Delta, you are DEAD to me.

Thurs: got lost in a cornfield somewhere in Indiana en route to the lake. At first Garmin was blamed, until we realized that mom typed in the wrong address. Typical.

Fri: Water skiing: 0, DJP: 1. And now the current one miler fun run champ. So fast that they had me recreate my finish to take the proper photos (and I still finished ahead of 2nd place daddy-o).

Possibly a little too tan for my own good, if that’s possible. Face is a little burnt, which is what Skybil must feel like anytime her skin is exposed to sunlight.

Oh, and here’s to hoping that Skybil found Bernie, or that Bernie has found a more attentive pet owner..

Poor Brit:
DP: poor rach, is she okay since tex was traded?
Skybil: She hasn’t been able to talk about it yet

Colberto:
A couple weeks ago we got VIP tix to the Colbert Report. Stephen = God. It was like.. ghetto burgers for the soul. Check out the episode here. Also, check out this hilarious interview with Lucas Conley, a guy on how branding is ruining consumerism. Obviously I went out to buy the book cause it came in such a cool package (which totally defeats the purpose of his book, but oh well)..

dwight. day.

Rainn Wilson, aka Dwight K. Schrute from The Office, was at CNN today! The Brit hostilely made me submit an iReport, which quickly became a monster in the newsroom. Behold:

Email from The Brit:
Subject: I don’t see a submission from your Dwight bobblehead yet

–

So like the good obedient child that I am, I put together my very first iReport:
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-46990

–

Next email from The Brit:
The iReport team are complaining that you didn’t send video…

Comments from inside the building, useful suggestion at end.

DW: http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-46990
The Brit: I made her send it!
The Brit: and have berated her for it not being video
DW: Thank you, saves me from having to do it.
DW: I’m betting not first time she’s gotten berated for “doesn’t follow directions.”
DW: it’s gotten 56 hits in 14 minutes.
The Brit: really? oh lord, she’ll be insufferable. But 50 of those prob from inside here
DW: i don’t know how the click counts work internally. she didn’t even have her picture in her profile. i’m pretty sure some of our users get additional clicks because of picture they choose
The Brit: it’s her first submission, bless her
DW: i’m just saying. she’s got her logo. i’m estimating that picture of female is good for at least a 10% increase in clicks. more if they’re cute.

–

More, via IM:
The Brit: … But I have created a whole new audience for dpnation …
DP: i just changed my profile pic
The Brit: a man wandering past my cube says “that’ll work”

–

And somewhere out of this, I think got hitched:
y++: breaking news!
y++: Deeps is now my gf
Skybil: WOW!!
y++: yes
Skybil: Let me start spreading rumors …
y++: fictional, perhaps, but where’s the line these days
y++: yes yes, she’s my gf
Skybil: True. Lots of relationships are based on fiction!
y++: entirely
Skybil: Indeed

DW comes through on my iReport, clears for on air usage!

DW: “I’ll make an exception and vet this one.”

Q&A between DW and DP (required for iReports used on CNN):
Did you take the picture? — YES and those are my bobbles (Teixiera is a gift from the Brit herself)
What kind of camera did you use? — iPhone, hence why the picture quality is so awful
Where do you live? NYC
What do you do? MBA/online celebrity/bacon enthusiast
Are you over 18? pretty sure, yes.

–

They begin to realize they’ve created a monster:
Skybil: You’ve made Dana insufferable!!
Skybil: I blame you
DW: made?
Skybil: Good point

–

Going live in 3.. 2..
The Brit: make sure you watch this thing on dotcom live
The Brit: there may be a surprise for you

–

Wes’ brush with fame and 20/20 hindsight:
Wes: OMG OMG I just got to shake dwight schrute’s hand
DP: OOOOOH
Wes: he even talked to me
Wes: bet you’re regretting business school now

Dwight signing T’s [exercise] ball.

See Dwight head to the weather center and do the forecast for CNN. Unsure of what he did to Chad Myers, the regular weather guy.

–

m++’s ultimate plan:
m++: skybil has given me a strategy on how to get you down here
m++: deeps, your hair looks terrible, you need to visit your stylist here
[he may be onto something here..]