booze. hound.

I think alcoholism is highly underrated. It gets a bad rap. Think about: What really are the detriments to being an alcoholic? OK, well, let’s think about it:

1. It hurts relationships with family and friends?

I don’t like those people anyway

2. Causes long term health problems?

I drive way too fast to worry about anything long term

3. Costs money?

I’m going to spend it recklessly anyway, better on alcohol than on pornography

4. Causes rude and aberrant behavior?

I’m an asshole when I’m sober; being drunk actually calms me down.

Now compare that to its benefits:

It makes me invulnerable to criticism, makes ugly people attractive, makes boring people seem interesting, and makes hot guys like me. For my money, the choice is obvious.

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