Vicktacular. Awards.

Compiled by Kyle. Feel free to cast your vote, add a nomination or suggest another award!

Best Injury
A. Kyle’s knees
B. Dana’s elbow
C. Marnie’s quad

Best Collision
A. Kyle and Jen T.
B. Wes and Faris
C. Dana and ground

Best Alcoholic Moment
A. Wes’ champagne funnel
B. Wes’ beer funnel before kicking a home run
C. Olivia and Faris chug off in front of 8-year-olds

Best Accessory
A. Boom’s tights
B. Dana’s “I love carbs” wristband
C. Curt’s microphone

Anti-Cal Ripken Award
A. Taylor
B. Deb Lesin and Olivia
C. Karen ShiZam

Worst Idea of the Year
A. 10 a.m. games
B. Kyle guaranteeing victory
C. This picture

Worst Placement of Jersey Number
A. Manav (way up on his collarbone, near the armpit)
B. Kyle (way down on his rib cage)

Most Valuable Player
A. Wes
B. Kevin
C. Ken

Smells Like Team Spirit Award
A. Daddypants
B. Curt
C. Bailey

Most Satisfying Victory
A. The first one
B. The second one, in the cold against the a-holes in extra innings
C. The rainy one

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8 Responses to Vicktacular. Awards.

  1. dpnation says:

    i would like to contribute ‘best in game moment’
    a. olivia getting beaned in the head, only to declare that she “took one for the team”
    b. lauren to pitcher after he yells to his team that she’s a lefty. LT: “that one was with my left, this one is gonna be with my right”. Oh, snap!
    c. cybil screaming “watch out for the man-bunt” from the sidelines
    d. ken’s foul ball

  2. manav says:

    You stole my award category, Dana. I want to add an ‘e’ choice to it:

    e. Boom legging out a grounder past the pitcher and remarking scornfully to me (who was the 1st base coach), “Man, I wasn’t even that running that hard.” The other team’s first baseman didn’t look too amused.

  3. Best Injury
    D. Steve Almasy, catching ball slightly over his head (three weeks later my shoulder still hurts). If not that, C.

    Best Collision
    Steve’s car and the mailbox of that lady who wouldn’t back up and just insisted I do so so she could park in her driveway. The mailbox is still standing but one tire got off the ground. If not that, C.

    Best Alcoholic Moment
    Steve drinking at all. If not that, Dana’s 10a screwdriver or C.

    Best Accessory
    Steve’s cooler full of Capri Sun and Miller Lite. If not that, definitely A.

    Anti-Cal Ripken Award
    Steve for not showing up because it was raining and he’s old and susceptible to colds.
    If not that, C. And A. And B.

    Worst Idea of the Year
    C!

    Worst Placement of Jersey Number
    Tie

    Most Valuable Player
    I think placing arbitrary standards of praise to place one individual over another devalues the concept of teamwork and cooperational structure. But it was definitely Kevin.

    Smells Like Team Spirit Award
    Duh? Daddypants! Daddypants! Daddypants! If not, Curt.

    Most Satisfying Victory
    Winning isn’t everything, especially when you don’t get paid for it

  4. faris says:

    Best Injury
    C. Marnie’s quad

    Best Collision
    C. Dana and ground

    Best Alcoholic Moment
    C. Olivia and Faris chug off in front of 8-year-olds

    Best Accessory
    C. Curt’s microphone

    Anti-Cal Ripken Award (abstain)
    A. Taylor
    B. Deb Lesin and Olivia
    C. Karen ShiZam

    Worst Idea of the Year
    A. 10 a.m. games

    Worst Placement of Jersey Number
    B. Kyle (way down on his rib cage)

    Most Valuable Player
    C. Ken

    Smells Like Team Spirit Award
    B. Curt

    Most Satisfying Victory
    B. The second one, in the cold against the a-holes in extra innings

  5. KA says:

    Steve’s votes were hilarious.

    My votes:

    Best Injury
    A. Kyle’s knees

    (I busted up both knees. Two is always better than one. Sorry, Dana and Marnie.)

    Best Collision
    C. Dana and ground

    (Splat.)

    Best Alcoholic Moment
    B. Wes’ beer funnel before kicking a home run

    (C’mon, he kicked a fucking home run!)

    Best Accessory
    C. Curt’s microphone

    (This was really hard, because I love Boom’s tights and Dana’s wristband. But because Curt risked electrocution, he has to get the nod.)

    Anti-Cal Ripken Award
    A. Taylor

    (Who goes 4-for-4 and then retires? Someone who is more concerned about their statistics than the team, that’s who.)

    Worst Idea of the Year
    A. 10 a.m. games

    (Ugh.)

    Worst Placement of Jersey Number
    A. Manav (way up on his collarbone, near the armpit)

    (I happen to think my rib cage is quite attractive.)

    Most Valuable Player
    C. Ken

    (What an arm on this guy.)

    Smells Like Team Spirit Award
    C. Bailey

    (Steve wusses out whenever there is a hint of precipitation, so he can’t win. And sorry, Curt, you’re just not as cute as a puppy.)

    Most Satisfying Victory
    C. The rainy one

    (We almost blew that one, too. But we persevered and pulled it out.)

  6. curt says:

    Best Injury: A
    Best Collision: C (but which one?)
    Best Alcoholic Moment: B
    Best Accessory: C (am I allowed to vote for myself?)
    Anti Cal-Ripken Award: C
    Worst Idea of the Year: A
    Worst Jersey Number placement: A
    Most Valuable Player: C
    Smells like Team Spirit: A
    Most Satisfying Victory: B

  7. L Tizzle says:

    You should know I “pitched” the last game left-handed, but clearly kicked with my right. Rar. What Up Italy.

  8. Jenn says:

    Best Injury: A
    Best Collision: C
    Best Alcoholic Moment: B
    Best Accessory: C
    Anti Cal-Ripken Award: B
    Worst Idea of the Year: A
    Worst Jersey # Placement: B
    MVP: C
    Smells Like Team Spirit: C
    Most Satisfying Victory: C

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