status. update.

Stolen from Wes. Cause it’s so true.

The Facebook status update

[blank] is Lost.
[blank] really needs to talk to someone.
[blank] is wondering what to make of her life.
[blank] R.I.P. Lacy….. I love and miss you so much…best dog ever… “She’s so beautiful.”
What they mean: I’m deep. I’m sad. I’m lonely. And I am going to tell everyone online about my deep-sad-loneliness. Please pity me.

[blank] is hangover city.
[blank] is still recovering from her crazy weekend night.
[blank] is back at work physically but not mentally.
What they mean: I miss college -(

[blank] is hedging his bets.
[blank] is floor to ceiling windows.
[blank] is rapping in off the top.
What they mean: You aren’t cool enough to know what I am talking about.

[blank] is blaming it on Rio.
[blank] We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I’ve left to do
Discover me
Discovering you

[blank] Into your heart I’ll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock,
And sweet you roll
Lost for you, I’m so lost for you

What they mean: I know how the cut and paste function works. Also, my iPod is on shuffle.

[blank] is napping after work.
[blank] is still sick in bed coughing up her lungs.
[blank] is wondering what that bump is.
What they mean: ew

[blank] is on her way to Miami. Spring break baby!!!
[blank] is engaged to the most wonderful man EVER!
[blank] just got accepted to Southern Mississippi State Community Technical College!!!
What they mean: My parents never gave me enough positive feedback. Also, I use exclamations to the point that they have lost all meaning!


5 Responses to status. update.

  1. Poker Cats says:

    It’s a lot easier to read this post if you replace [blank] with “Skybil.” lol

  2. Skybil says:

    HEY!!! All of my updates are about bacon! Skybil is (blank blank blank) BACON!!!

  3. dpnation says:

    booze or bacon. that’s our skybil.

  4. Wes says:

    Hey that’s me!

    One of my friends who noticed I stole her status update for this piece kindly changed it to [blank] is not being mysterious.

    Also, I hope you are an ambidextrous beer pong and flip cup player, or you could have a long and sober recovery ahead of you.

  5. dpnation says:

    i think i can funnel left-handed?

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