bacon. tree.

August 29, 2010

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United  States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie  down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says………

“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell.   Ees bacon, I theenk.”

“Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. ”

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon … every imaginable kind of cured pork.

“Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved.   Ees a bacon tree.”

“Luis, maybe ees a meerage?   We ees in the desert don’t   forget.”

“Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of   a meerage that smell like bacon…ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree.”

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree.   He gets to within 5  metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens  up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.   Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe  with his dying breath,

“Pepe… go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!”

“Luis, Luis mi amigo… what ees it? ”

“Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree.   Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees a ham bush….”

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bacon. bonanza.

April 19, 2010

Marathon Monday = Christmas in April

How to make this week any better? Two words. Bacon. Beer.

Yes, it’s true..

It’s as if this was my own birthday party so thoughtfully planned out by complete strangers. Not on my birthday.

Questions that linger:
– will this hold up to the original baconfest, the one Skybil and I discovered before it was even cool to like bacon?
– how much bacon is too much bacon? Unlike beer, which gives you a pretty good indication on when you should be put in timeout.
why am I racing at Dartmouth the next day? Not even sure why I’m going at all. If you recall, this was the scene of my most horrific crash to date. (And shockingly, that was NOT the elbow fracture).
– how do I top my outfit from Halloween?


bacon. bouquet.

April 7, 2010

Attention: current and potential suitors and admirers


and a danahead in a pear tree

December 23, 2009


Merry Danamas from your friends at The Nation! May ye all be showered in bacon and Snuggies this holla-day season.


colbert. conversations.

December 1, 2009

Auto Response from SPOON10 (4:04:37 PM): I liked that policy the first time I heard it.. from the Kool-Aid man.
-Stephen Colbert

skybil: we were just talking about you!!!
dp: OH NO
dp: ABOUT WHAT

m++: i wonder what my gf is donig
skybil: Prolly blogging about Colbert
m++: baffling
skybil: Indeed

——–

dp: omg i think i’m in love with stephen
skybil: MT is concerned that you love another
skybil: I told him to send you a bacon basket to win you back
skybil: He asked: Would that work? I mean, DUH!!!
dp: it might have to be the twice a month bacon club
dp: it was a holy experience
dp: it was like ghetto burgers for the soul
skybil: WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
skybil: I think that’s the title of your first business how-to guide


p rey. pardoned.

November 26, 2009

Obama’s first presidential pardon

Happy Danagiving! Hope everyone had a turbaconducken for the feast!


plentiful. pumpkins.

October 31, 2009

happy danaween!
Happy Danaween from your friends at The Nation.

What’s everyone’s costumes this year? Here’s a hint of mine: http://twitpic.com/noflp